I cut my penus on the lid.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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