I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
