You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
