I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
