that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
