Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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