i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
