I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Randomize
