PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
