4 words: hood of his car
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
