yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
