I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize