he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
