she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
we made out on top of his cat.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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