Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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