Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
