where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
