that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
