i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
