absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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