actually, I'm a sock model
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
