Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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