ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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