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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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