I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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