watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
What drink are we having for lunch?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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