whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
