So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize