dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
