i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Randomize
