god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
