People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
