Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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