omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
