I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
