Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My feet surprised me
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
