it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
