I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
