You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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