Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
