I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
