Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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