The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
