your room smells of hookers.
And success
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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