just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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