you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
