You can't special order awesome
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
