What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
