you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
