I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
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