Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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