Farmville is her only friend.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
God, I missed his penis.
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