is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
