If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
