Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
