just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
