he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
