I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
