8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We are all done wearing pants today
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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