hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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