I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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