You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I AM VODKA MAN
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize