Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
