I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i out mim tonsoeep
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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