So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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